In post-Soviet countries, it is common to hold memorial meals directly at cemeteries on the days dedicated to honoring the deceased.

At the gravesites, tablecloths are spread, food is laid out, and even alcohol is poured in memory of the departed. But where did this practice originate, how does it align with religious canons, and is it appropriate to do so?

Origins of the Tradition

References to feasts at graves can be traced back to the pagan traditions of ancient Slavs. Our ancestors believed that the souls of the deceased continued to exist nearby, so on memorial days, they would bring bread, porridge, eggs, meat, and alcohol to the graves. In some cases, food was even buried in the ground or left at the cemetery so that the dead could "attend" the meal.

With the advent of Christianity, pagan rituals did not disappear but adapted to the new faith. As a result, church memorial days emerged, such as Radonitsa (on the ninth day after Easter), Dmitrievskaya Saturday, and Parent Saturdays. However, the church prescribes honoring the dead through prayer and charity, rather than through feasting at gravesites.

During the Soviet era, when religious rituals were suppressed, cemeteries became a sort of "freedom zone" for preserving traditions. People went there not only to pray but also to gather as families, remember the departed, and drink in their memory.

What Does the Church Say?

Orthodox Christianity is unequivocally against feasting at cemeteries. Honoring the deceased primarily involves prayer, good deeds, and charity. The Bible does not mention the necessity of bringing food to graves, let alone consuming alcohol in such places.

Moreover, the church emphasizes that alcohol consumption at cemeteries often leads to inappropriate behavior, noise, and even fights, which has nothing to do with respecting the deceased.

The Catholic Church also condemns such practices, considering them superstitious and devoid of spiritual meaning.

Is it Permissible to Eat at the Cemetery?

From the perspective of etiquette and sanitation norms, eating at gravesites is a questionable idea. Cemeteries are not meant for dining, and in some countries, one can be fined for such actions. Additionally, leftover food attracts animals and birds, which may lead to the destruction of graves.

If you wish to honor the deceased, it is better to do the following:

  • Light a candle in church and pray.
  • Donate food to those in need.
  • Gather with loved ones at a family table at home.
  • Visit the cemetery, clean the grave, and bring flowers.